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The anniversary of the death of a loved one comes with its own unique challenges. Unlike birthdays or weddings, the day your loved one passed is a focal point for your grief and can bring all the feelings of loss right back to the surface.Â
While you might expect the day to be difficult, you might find engaging in some sort of memorialâbig or smallâcan be a lovely way to honour their memory and support your own mental health.
There are so many ways you can honour your loved one! To get you thinking about what might be helpful for you, hereâs a list of 10 things you can do to remember your person. You can either choose to do something by yourself or with othersâthe choice is completely up to you and there is no right or wrong way to mourn.
Holiday movies and social media show us that the holiday season needs to be a certain level of perfect: everyone must be happy, your house must be spotless but also have decorations everywhere, and key memories have to be made. This is what is considered holiday perfectionism, when everything must be done to a certain level or else you feel stressed out, disappointed in yourself, or like a failure.
Women are especially susceptible to falling into the trap of holiday perfectionism because they constantly get messages from childhood to be everything to everyone. They are the ones to make the gift lists, do the shopping, the baking, coordinate the social calendars of spouses and kids. Plus, there is a gender stereotype that women need to be pleasant in the face of any scenario. It is exhausting!
Give yourself a break this year with these 4 tips to feel less stressed about achieving perfection this season:
It can be so easy to get obsessed with the numbers on your bathroom scale and hop on/hop off every day or sometimes multiple times a day. You might be telling yourself that itâs âjust to check inâ but letâs look at your motivation a bit more closely:
If the number on the scale is higher than yesterday, do you have a bad day? End up picking yourself apart and vow to restrict what you eat?
Are you stepping on the scale more than once a day? Do you have set ârulesâ for when you weigh yourself (for example, must be after using the washroom, must be without clothing, etc.)?
If you find yourself letting the number on the scale dictate your mood and actions, here are four reminders you need to hear. Feel free to print these out to read them when you need to, or even tape them on your bathroom mirror!
Todayâs blog is a guest post from Marisa over at Le Salon Literary Discussions. She runs a bookish business that offers reading recommendations, monthly online book discussions, and more!
Reading can be such a great way to relax. It can also be educational and help you learn new ideas and see yourself in new ways, which can be invigorating! No matter which you choose, both of these can support a sense of self-care.Â
I know it can be challenging to find time to read these days between work, life, TV, and scrolling. If you need a few tips on how to make some time to pick up your book or e-reader, Iâve got some advice that might help. My biggest tip is to make sure you are enjoying what you are readingâand that will look different for everyone. From romance to graphic novels, thrilling mysteries to classic novels. Here are some book recommendations to get you started.
Non-fiction books to support your body and mind:
The summer âuniformâ is made up of shorts, tank tops, and sweating! All can make you feel uncomfortable if you struggle with body image. But perhaps the most dreaded of all is the bathing suit. At some point we go from children who love being in the water and playing in the sand without a second thought, to worry-charged and self-conscious adults who will actively avoid situations that require suiting up.
If this sounds like you, youâll want to bookmark this post to come back to when youâre faced with a bathing suit event. Here are 4 tips to make you feel more comfortable (dare we even say confident!):
Have you ever noticed that when you wipe down the kitchen you immediately feel a sense of calm? Or maybe you love to light a candle during the cold, dark winter months. These are great examples of how small alterations to your environment can boost your mood in seconds. And we recommend finding more ways to add these things to your every day! It is a great way to tailor your environment, stack the deck if you will, to bring more joy and relaxation into your daily life.
You might think: âI donât have the budget to upgrade my house!â While of course weâd all love to decorate or renovate our homes to fit our ideal dreams, you donât have to go all out (and drop a lot of money) to see mental health benefits. You can try:
You may have seen yourself in our last blog post about body checking. It is the practice of monitoring and critiquing your appearance based on diet industry standards. Our tip there was to catch the negative thoughts in action and try and counter them.
In todayâs post weâre going to take it to the next level: once youâve caught that negative thought, how you can support yourself into creating a positive experience when looking in a mirror (either literally or in the form of comparison with other peopleâs bodies).
It might feel normal to pass by a store window and check out your reflection. But if youâre noticing more than simply adjusting your scarf or hat, you might be falling into body checking.
Body checking is any way you monitor your bodyâs appearance. This might look like:
You might even notice that these habits become even more frequent when you are stressed, feeling sad, or even just about to go on vacation! The issue with body checking is that youâll never feel like you are measuring up to whatever youâre hoping for because it is a way of constantly critiquing your body. The diet industry doesnât help us at all! Even if it changes i...
For many of you who have been on the diet rollercoaster for years, you probably have collected two wardrobes: one youâre trying to feel good in now and the other is the clothes you hope to fit back into one day. You might even find yourself putting off buying clothes you feel your best in because youâre waiting to lose weight and donât want to âwasteâ the money.
Here at the Centre for Emotional Eating we hear this from clients often! Not only is there a wish to one day be the smaller size you were previously, a lot of the time you also have emotional ties to those clothes because of who you were when you wore them. For example, one client loved her blouses and pencil skirts because it reminded her of a time when she was happy in her career.
But getting rid of these clothes will not only free up real space in your closet it will also free up mental space. Hereâs what we hear from clients once theyâve taken the plunge and cleaned out their closets of clothes that no longer fit them or ...
A lot of emotional eaters use food rules to try and control their eating. This might look like:
Sound familiar? These rigid rules are a reaction to the out-of-control-feeling experienced when strong emotions take over and you head to the fridge looking for something to numb out on. We learn rules from our parents, friendship circles, diet culture, and social media. These rules also make you feel as if you are in control (at least for a little while), which makes it extra frustrating when you âfall off the wagon.â
It may seem logical to try and balance situations where you eat a lot of food with other times of much less food, but the truth is it doesnât even out that way⌠And you end up getting stuck in the restrict/binge cycle. This looks like: strict diet > have a craving or emotional exper...
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