How to Really Give Yourself Unconditional Permission to Eat
One of the most powerful ways to begin healing your relationship with food is by giving yourself unconditional permission to eat. While diet rules might give you a sense of control, sooner or later you will be feeling out of control, guilty, and shameful when you ‘break’ those rules.
You might have heard of this eating approach before, but what does it really mean? And how can you use it in your day-to-day life? Below we’re breaking down this great step you can take to start loosening your rules around food and start bingeing less.
What Is Unconditional Permission to Eat?
First, it means letting go of the food rules you’ve set for yourself like not eating lunch until noon, labeling fast food as “bad”, or limiting carbs. Then, you give yourself permission to eat what you’re craving, when you want it, and in whatever amount feels right to you. The more you start to lean into this way of eating, the more you’ll notice what foods satisfy you, if you’re hungrier after a workout, and more! You’ll start to rebuilt trust in yourself, that it is safe to eat all kinds of foods and that you are capable of giving yourself what you need.
You might be thinking “but if I give myself this permission to eat anything, I’ll only eat cake and ice cream!” This might happen in the short-term, especially if you’ve been denying yourself specific foods. Breaking the rules can feel good at first, but just like a strict diet where you get sick of eating the same cabbage soup every day, you will eventually crave something other than cake and ice cream. Over time, as your food rules ease, those foods lose their emotional charge.
How to Start Giving Yourself Unconditional Permission to Eat
1. Identify your personal rules. Either using a piece of paper or the notes app on your phone, write down any and all rules that come to mind, like “no eating after 7pm,” “I have to finish my plate”, or “sugar is addictive.” Notice how these rules influence your food choices and emotional responses (ex: guilt, shame, excitement, etc.)
2. Consider where you learnt those rules. This might be from sitting around your family’s dinner table, years of diet culture, or social media. Knowing that the rules you’re living by were set by someone else can make it easier for you to start challenging them and seeing if they are true for you.
3. Choose one or two rules to gently challenge. When you feel up to it, mindfully set out to break a rule. For example, if you are hungry at 11:00 a.m. and usually “push through” until noon to eat, try giving yourself permission to have a snack or your meal early when you feel hungry. Check in with yourself afterwards: Did you enjoy the food? Did it satisfy your hunger and meet your craving? Did you focus less on food after you ate?
Once you feel comfortable with one rule, move on to the next! Approaching eating in this way means it becomes less about “should” and more about curiosity, care, and satisfaction—all foods fit!
π Your peace awaits.
