Ever have a free moment and think, “now I’ll let myself relax” only to find it nearly impossible? Your mind gets loud about all the things you should be doing or starts to allow in feelings you’ve been avoiding. Sometimes even just the expectation that right now is the only window you have to recharge can put you on edge!

Here are three of the most common challenges I hear from clients when they are looking for some peace. And I’ve included what to do to manage them!

The “one more thing” trap

We are all busy and have things we need to get done, but these mental or literal lists can create a lot of clutter as you jump from one thing to the next. You might even believe that you aren’t allowed to rest until you’ve crossed everything off your list. But it is unrealistic to set everything up perfectly before you can relax. Instead, try meeting yourself in the middle: identify one to two things you want to get done before you allow yourself to relax. This creates a clear expectation—what ...

Have you ever gone into a job interview or were meeting your partner’s family for the first time and felt physically uncomfortable? It might be your stomach tightening or your mouth goes dry. It doesn’t matter if growth is self-directed (and wanted!) or comes from what life throws at you, the reason why these situations are uncomfortable are the same—read on!

First, doing anything new pushes us out of our comfort zone and takes your brain off of a kind of auto-pilot. Our brains love the predictability of life because it has already figured out how to react to those regular situations. Anything new and your system has to recalibrate constantly and the physical sensations can overpower your ability to push back with logic. For example, you might think having to drive a detour on your way home is small, but your nervous system registers it as something to pay a lot of attention to, increasing anxiety and panic and alerting you with all kinds of physical sensations. These new scenarios pu...

Do you ever feel relief when your work day is done? Maybe it’s when the clock hits a specific time or when that last thing on your to do list is crossed off. It is when you can transition from work life to personal time, but that isn’t always an easy transition.

No matter how you commute, work from home or do shift work, here are five strategies you can use to train your brain and body to know it is time to shift out of work mode.

Inventory. One great way to stop thinking about your day is to reflect on how you felt the day went. Identify what you liked, didn’t like, what went well, or didn’t. This can be a clear time for you to shift through all of these thoughts, evaluations, and worries before you get to your front door. If you find these thoughts spiral, try picturing placing them in a cabinet or chest and mentally locking them up. Sometimes it can even be helpful to remind yourself you’re not being paid for your worry time!

Snack. The time from lunch to dinner can be long and t...

No matter what you do for work, chances are it is a stressor in your life. Even if you enjoy your job, there might be tasks or colleagues you’d rather not deal with. Work is a necessity not just for income, but also purpose, goal setting, community, and future planning.

That doesn’t mean it isn’t stressful.

Below are a number of ways you can support your mental health as a worker.

Basic Maintenance Goes a Long Way

You might already know that routines, rituals, and structure can support your well-being, so focusing on identifying working hours (and rest or play hours), practicing good sleep hygiene, and implementing boundaries around your work phone or logging in can be incredibly helpful for supporting your mental health. It can also be helpful to create a transition ritual where you let your nervous system know that you are changing from work you to home you. Listen to a meditation app on your commute or change clothes as soon as you are home. These can signal to your body that it...

There are many reasons people emotionally eat: to distract themselves, to feel numb, to have something to control. But one of the common reasons I hear from clients is that food brings them a sense of happiness that they feel doesn’t compare to any other experience currently in their life. This makes emotional eating incredibly difficult to stop relying on when you don’t have others ways of accessing this feel-good emotion. Does any of this sound familiar?

• A snack feels like an only acceptable break from grinding away at work or your to do list. Your brain makes the connection that not working = food.
• You only feel your body relax once the kids are in bed and you can eat alone in the evening. The connection your brain makes here is alone time = food time.
• You only allow yourself to have foods like cake or popcorn at events like parties or at the movie theatre. Here your brain connects special events (happy times) and specific foods.Our brains love to work on auto-pilot because it
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Emotional eating bubbles up when you don’t want to feel or experience something. Food is always available and seems like an easier route than facing things head on. But the truth is, your feelings just want to be heard and comforted by you. That is the key to breaking out of the emotional eating cycle, not more will power.

This sense of confrontation can feel very scary when you’ve spent years avoiding your feelings, so we’re sharing 3 great ways to get your emotions out in a way that will help you recognize them and move through them—instead of being stuck in the trigger-eat-regret cycle:

Use your voice. One of the best ways to help diffuse the intensity of your emotions is to talk to yourself out loud. This might feel silly at first, but it can be a great way to identify what exactly you are feeling. Find a space alone (the bathroom is a great one!) and start to find your words, for example: “I am feeling really attacked right now”, “I’m so worried I disappointed them and they are ...

We’re told that grief has stages that we move through, that there is an end to the process. But the truth is much more complex than that. While its intensity can lessen over time, there are often triggers, sometimes unexpected ones, that bring up feelings in new and painful ways.

And while grief is a common experience, it is still a topic many feel uncomfortable talking about. For example, if you’ve lost someone you love, others in your community might not know how to talk to you about it even if you want to keep the conversation—and memory—of your person present. Others often worry they are making you feel worse you by asking how you’re coping.

If you are struggling with grief right now, we want you to know there is no right or wrong way to move through it. To start, reach out to someone you trust or get support from a therapist to help guide you. You might be surprised how freeing it feels to have a safe space to cry or rage. This can create a release of emotions that you don’t hav...

Being on the other side of a challenging life changing event can feel destabilizing. After a period of new levels of anxiety or depression symptoms, you don’t trust feeling good. The truth is that you’re no longer used to feeling positive.

You might feel foolish for not immediately embracing the good, but this lack of trust is much more common than you think! Below we’ve outlined the three stages you can expect when you’ve done the work to move through big emotions and negative experiences.

Step One: You Can’t Believe It

At some point in your recovery, you will notice a subtle shift. It might be in a therapy session when you realize you’re talking about your experiences differently or it might be a moment during your day where you think or react differently than you would in the past. This might be accompanied by a rush of gratitude: you’ve made a change and are “on the other side.”

This will likely be immediately followed by mentally shutting down recognizing (or celebrating!) thi...

Holiday movies and social media show us that the holiday season needs to be a certain level of perfect: everyone must be happy, your house must be spotless but also have decorations everywhere, and key memories have to be made. This is what is considered holiday perfectionism, when everything must be done to a certain level or else you feel stressed out, disappointed in yourself, or like a failure.

Women are especially susceptible to falling into the trap of holiday perfectionism because they constantly get messages from childhood to be everything to everyone. They are the ones to make the gift lists, do the shopping, the baking, coordinate the social calendars of spouses and kids. Plus, there is a gender stereotype that women need to be pleasant in the face of any scenario. It is exhausting!

Give yourself a break this year with these 4 tips to feel less stressed about achieving perfection this season:

• Take stock of what you can let go of. Consider what you think is expected of yo
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It can be so easy to get obsessed with the numbers on your bathroom scale and hop on/hop off every day or sometimes multiple times a day. You might be telling yourself that it’s “just to check in” but let’s look at your motivation a bit more closely:

If the number on the scale is higher than yesterday, do you have a bad day? End up picking yourself apart and vow to restrict what you eat?

Are you stepping on the scale more than once a day? Do you have set ‘rules’ for when you weigh yourself (for example, must be after using the washroom, must be without clothing, etc.)?

If you find yourself letting the number on the scale dictate your mood and actions, here are four reminders you need to hear. Feel free to print these out to read them when you need to, or even tape them on your bathroom mirror!

1. It is normal for your weight to fluctuate during the day depending on what you’ve had to eat, drink, or if you’ve had a bowel movement. And if you’re a woman, you can expect your weight to
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