Real Scripts You Can Use this Holiday Season

Social gatherings can be stressful at the best of times: they require your time, energy, money, and you have to figure out what to wear. Add in the expectation that someone will comment on your weight, what you’re eating, how you vote, or how you choose to live your life and the anxiety can build as soon as the event is on your calendar.

If you are already dreading a few get-togethers on your calendar, below are some helpful scripts you can use to shut down unwanted comments and criticism. Read through and choose which ones might be helpful to you. Feel free to bookmark this blog post or take a screen shot on your phone so you can come back to this anytime you need to feel empowered to redirect an uncomfortable conversation.

 Try being warm and polite:

• “It’s the holiday season, let’s focus on the positive. What are you excited about right now?”
• “Let’s keep things light today. Tell me something wonderful that’s going on with you lately?”

 Try being gentle but clear:

• “That isn’t really something I want to talk about today. How are you celebrating the season this year?”
• “I’m still working through it, maybe I’ll share at another time. What are you looking forward to during the holidays?”

 Try being firm and direct:

• “That wasn’t a helpful comment and we should change the subject.”
• “Please don’t comment on that. It’s not up for discussion.”

If you find yourself feeling trapped or bombarded with confrontation you just can’t shake, find an excuse to break free: grab something from your coat pocket, wave to someone else across the room, offer to help out the host, or excuse yourself for a bathroom break (even if you don’t need to ‘go’!).

You might still emotionally eat in the lead up to or after these events, and that’s ok! Try and build in some ways to regulate your nervous system around the gatherings, like getting fresh air, movement, journaling, a friend to vent to, or more alone time.

💛 Your peace awaits.