Befriending Your Inner Critic

Managing your inner critic can be difficult. Its comments are cruel, judgmental, and criticize everything from your body to your intelligence to your dreams. That voice inside tears you down with comments taken from friends, family, society, and social media. Sometimes they are word-for-word and sometimes your inner critics twists them to be extra painful. We tend to internalize these negative ideas and our brain feeds them back to us as if they are true.

They aren’t.

There are a few ways to address your inner critic. I’ve talked before about how to push back against these inner comments (without falling into toxic positivity!) and today I want to give you another strategy to try out: listening to your inner critic.

Now, that doesn’t mean believing your inner critic. When thoughts like “You’re so dumb” or “No one likes you” come up, see if you can sit with them for a moment. These thoughts often jump to the surface when you’ve been triggered by a situation and your immediate action might be to spiral with those critical opinions. Most of the time these thoughts are trying to protect you, from fear, disappointment, confrontation, but it doesn’t do it in the most helpful way.

Instead, notice what your inner critic is saying and pause. In this space you get to decide if that voice will guide you or if you’ll rebel and be a little kinder to yourself. It can sometimes be tough to discern when to listen to it and when not to, so ask yourself:

• Is this thought helpful or an attack?
• What is my inner critic afraid will happen if I don’t listen?

At the end of the day, you can call out or brush off your inner critic—how powerful is that! But listening in is a great way to decide if there is valid truth or emotion behind something your mind is telling you. The words you use to speak to yourself matter! Your brain is your command centre of the body, so if it’s constantly spitting out negative thoughts you’ll believe them.

💛 Your peace awaits.