Concrete Examples to Push Back Against Your Inner Critic

It is common to suffer from low self-esteem here and there. But often when someone is in an emotional spiral, or their depression is strong, out inner critic seems to be blasting negative thoughts on repeat. And it can be extremely powerful as it uses the first person:

• “I’m so fat. No wonder no one loves me.”
• “Look at how I jiggle. I’m so disgusting.”

Sometimes the voice might instruct you to pinch, suck in, or smooth certain parts of your body. These thoughts can feel true to us if we don’t challenge them. But how do you even begin to do that? Let’s look at the same comments above and see how we might push back against them:

• “I’m so fat. No wonder no one loves me. Wait. This can’t be true, my partner/friends/family tell me they love me.”
• “Look at how I jiggle. I’m so disgusting. STOP! That thought isn’t helping me.”

In both examples, you can see there is a need to break the negative thought off with “wait” or “stop.” These short words shock that negative thought! Sometimes it can even be helpful to say it out loud (even more powerful if you’re in the moment in front of the mirror criticizing yourself).

The next step is to flip the original negative thought on its head. This could be that it’s not true—and challenge it with real evidence in your life—it’s not helpful, or you can completely flip the meaning of the criticism by adding a compliment:

• “Look at how I jiggle. I’m so disgusting. STOP! I have a great laugh and love my legs!”

Try all three options and see what works for you! You might find over time those positive messages will start to add up and increase your confidence.

💛 Your peace awaits.