Aligning Your Values with Your Relationships
When it comes to supporting our mental health, we tend to start with the big things: the quality of our sleep, what we eat, going to therapy, taking medication. This can lead to more confidence and awareness which are powerful tools! But you might also begin to notice that working on yourself has shifted your relationships with others in ways you didn’t expect.
As you implement changes in your life and your perspective shifts, you might find you grow annoyed or feel critical towards others you usually have felt ok around. You might even feel like you can’t show or talk about who it is you’re becoming. Your immediate reaction might be to blame yourself, piling on the guilt that you’re a “bad friend” or a “bad person” because you’re thinking about others differently, even critically.
If you dig past those uncomfortable feelings, you’ll notice that it isn’t about them, but that getting clearer on your values (and setting boundaries that go along with them) means you no longer align with some of the relationships in your life.
Instead of criticizing yourself, try this instead:
- Think about who you spend time with that leaves you feeling supported. It might look like them encouraging you to dream or be ok sitting with you in silence. These interactions leave you feeling like your cup is filled, and that can lead to a lot less emotional eating. Consider what it is about these interactions that make you feel comforted or inspired, then seek out more connections or even new relationships based on these factors.
- Give yourself permission to cut out or limit energy spent on those who drain you. This can feel challenging at first, but don’t get discouraged! Of course, you might not be able to eliminate time with coworkers or family that have the opposite effect, but you can limit time with them or set up boundaries with phone calls and texts. Going into these interactions with awareness that it might impact your mood or how you see yourself can be a great way to separate your feelings from their influence.
Your growth and learning are something to be celebrated! It is only through understanding what our values are that we are then able to fill our lives with people and experiences that allow us to live the life we want.
And how fulfilling does that sound?!
💛 Your peace awaits.
