Letting Go of Food Rules

A lot of emotional eaters use food rules to try and control their eating. This might look like:

• Counting calories, points, or macros.
• Not eating after 7:00 p.m.
• Not eating or limiting carbs, sugar, or fat.
• Leaving food on your plate.
• Drinking coffee or diet soda to fend off hunger.

Sound familiar? These rigid rules are a reaction to the out-of-control-feeling experienced when strong emotions take over and you head to the fridge looking for something to numb out on. We learn rules from our parents, friendship circles, diet culture, and social media. These rules also make you feel as if you are in control (at least for a little while), which makes it extra frustrating when you “fall off the wagon.”

It may seem logical to try and balance situations where you eat a lot of food with other times of much less food, but the truth is it doesn’t even out that way… And you end up getting stuck in the restrict/binge cycle. This looks like: strict diet > have a craving or emotional experience > overeat > feel shame and guilt > strict diet, on and on.

And this cycle has nothing to do with your will power (“If only I could stick to my plan!”) and everything to do with setting yourself up to fail with rules that are unrealistic. It is normal to feel hungry, crave yummy food, and eat after 7:00 p.m. (this is a diet culture classic!).

It might feel very scary to think of what might happen to your eating or waistline on the other side of food rules, but we promise it is worth it! Here’s how to dip your toe into letting go:

First, try thinking about or write down all the food rules you practice. Question where you learned them and why you do them. It might be a long list as you’re probably picked up a lot of rules over the course of your dieting journey!

Next, remind yourself that if these rules worked—to control your emotions, your eating, your weight—you’d be your ideal self already. Do any of the rules now seem worth keeping? Pick one you feel would be the easiest to challenge, and then go a week or two trying out the opposite action. For example, you give yourself permission to eat after 7:00 p.m. if you’re hungry instead of tossing and turning with your stomach growling at night. Get curious: What size snack do you need? Does chocolate or popcorn help you fall asleep better? Do you wake up more refreshed?

Letting go of food rules can help you think less about food, freeing up the space to be more present in your life.

💛 Your peace awaits.