Examples of What to Say When a Doctor Only Focuses on Weight Loss

Going to the doctor can feel like more than just a chore. It might make your anxiety sky rocket as you face explaining your symptoms and feelings to someone you only see a handful of times a year.  

If you exist in a body that doesn’t ‘fit’ into narrow definitions, like BMI, there might be added anxiety that you won’t be heard by those treating you because they can’t see past your body shape or weight. This is called weight bias in medicine. It is when a practitioner believes they know everything they need to know about you because you are classified as “overweight” or “obese” by their standards. They will often highlight or even pressure you to lose weight as a miracle cure-all to any and all issues.

That is simply not true.

Many people with higher body fat percentages live healthy lives with clean bills of health from blood work to digestion. And you deserve the same treatment from a practitioner that everyone else gets—to be seen, to be heard, to be understood.

Knowing all this might not alleviate all of your discomfort or fear around visiting the doctor. The best thing you can do is go into your next appointment feeling prepared to manage these bias roadblocks. So, here are somescripts you can use to advocate for yourself in the doctor’s office. Even if your voice shakes, being heard is a vital part of the practitioner-patient dynamic. Feel free to print these out to have on hand or use them as a jumping off point to create your own!

Example #1: Your doctor or nurse wants to weigh you even before your appointment begins.

You can say:

• “I know it might be the standard, but I don’t want to be weighed today.”
• “The scale isn’t a helpful tool for me. I am going to decline stepping on it.”
• “Is my weight necessary for today's appointment topic?”
  • Note: if your weight is needed to calibrate for medication, ask if you can step on the scale backwards and not be told what the number is. That way they can provide an informed amount without you spiralling after seeing the number on the scale.

Example #2: Your doctor tells you your joint pain is tied to the pressure on your body from excessive weight.

You can say:

• “Even if weight loss is the answer, my pain makes it difficult for movement and takes a toll on my mental health. How can we work to alleviate my pain now?”
• “Your comment to ‘just lose weight’ feels like judgement. Instead, can we focus on alternative ways forward?”
• “What health factors, other than weight, would contribute to the kind of pain I am having?

Example #3: Your doctor says they won’t support you in your fertility journey unless you lose weight.

You can say:

• “What would be your advice to someone who was at a smaller weight?”
• “Instead of focussing on my weight, let’s focus on the tests I need to ensure I have the right balance of hormones and am ovulating as expected.”
• “I’d like to hear what are my options are at my current size to move forward with my goals.”

And as a final note: you have the power to stop seeing any practitioner—doctor, massage therapist, whomever—that makes you feel ignored. See if you can get into another clinic or see a different doctor or even ask your friends for recommendations in your community. You are so much more than a number on a scale and you deserve health care that comes with dignity.

💛 Your peace awaits.