There Are No Negative Emotions

As an emotional eater you might feel like you can identify emotions as either good or bad.

Hope, joy, satisfaction, those must be good because they make you feel positive and present.

Anxiety, sadness, anger, those must be bad because they feel uncomfortable and challenging.

This is called black-and-white thinking or sometimes referred to as all-or-nothing thinking. Chances are you learned this way of thinking from family and society. Were you ever told to hide what you were feeling to make others more comfortable? Or maybe you were told that emotions are weak or to “put your big girl pants on.” Just like labeling foods as either good or bad, approaching emotions the same way doesn’t allow for the truth: that there is a much more neutral, or grey, area.

Let’s reframe! What if instead of thinking of certain emotions as bad, you replace that thought with a neutral one like “there are no bad emotions.” This neutrality means we’re not pretending to be happy or applying a toxic positivity lens to life—all emotions have their place! You wouldn’t tell a grieving friend to look on the bright side, and you shouldn’t be as dismissive of your own experiences either.

Frustration or fear might make you feel uncomfortable but they aren’t bad. They are both a way of coping with an experience and providing you information about a situation. For example, if you’re always stressed at work (and eating to soothe yourself) this is feedback that this role isn’t working for you anymore. Or, if you’re dreading the coffee date with a friend, maybe it isn’t because you’re anxious about the social activity it's a larger pattern about how your feelings about the friendship have changed.

As humans we experience a wide variety of emotions, which can be overwhelming! But you know what: labeling certain emotions as bad means that they seem scarier in our mind. This can be a big reason why you reach for food in the face of intense emotions: you feel uncomfortable so you look to food to numb you out, soothe you, feel in control.

If you consider all emotions as natural—its ok to cry when upset, scream when angry—it not only makes them feel less scary, you can also move through them easier.

All emotions are worth experiencing and listening to, no matter how difficult. If you need extra support to manage, reach for your journal, talk to a trusted friend, or reach out to a therapist or doctor. The more ways you can let emotions flow—feeling, writing, talking—the better you’ll feel.

💛 Your peace awaits.