The Solution to Eating out of Loneliness? Connection!

You might think of emotional eating as something that comes up for you when you have strong feelings like anger, stress, or sadness. These are emotions that are usually easy to identify by your inner dialogue or your outward reactions like tears or yelling. But emotional eating can sneak in with all kinds of feelings.

Ones you may not have thought about is eating when you’re bored or lonely. These reasons for overeating can be challenging to identify because we often do them without any sense of awareness. You’re not feeling overly emotional and yet you find yourself walking the same route to the fridge or pantry thinking it is simply routine.

When you’re bored or lonely, food as a solution to missing a connection makes sense. Your favorite treats feel comforting, plus they are easily available—it never lets you down or doesn’t show up (like you might be feeling about people).

The first thing to do is to find out what kind of connection you’re looking for: is it a social connection or do you feel like something is missing or disconnected within yourself. Don’t worry, none of this means you are broken! Sit with your journal, your phone’s notes app, or just with your thoughts and try to answer this question:

Am I missing feeling connected to other people (a community) or to myself?

There is no wrong answer! But based on your answer, you can then start exploring what might give you what you need. And remember: connection doesn’t always have to be in-person! See how you feel with meeting face-to-face versus using online tools. You might find they each give you something different!

If you’re missing feeling a sense of community, try:

• Reaching out to a friend by phone or in-person. Try and focus on having conversations that fill your cup—like listening to the other person, being honest about your feelings, or finding reasons to laugh together.
• Participating in hobbies with other likeminded people. That could be a book club, a knitting circle, or a running club. A shared interest makes it easier to make new connections as you already have something in common!
• Tapping into established communities that call to you. Maybe that’s volunteering for a cause you admire, trying out a night class, or finding people on a forum or social media you can exchange messages with.

If you’re looking for connection to yourself, try:

• Taking more time in nature. There can be a calming and connecting feeling to be out under the waving leaves of trees or feel the dirt in your hands as you garden.
• Joining a local church that reflects your values. Getting caught up in a sermon, music, and rituals of religion might bring your peace.
• Making time for meditation, journaling, prayer, a cold shower, dancing along to your favorite music, or any other activity that brings you mindfulness. Creative expression has shown to provide a sense of fulfillment and nourishment that can’t be found with food.

At the end of the day, managing feelings of boredom and loneliness comes down to bringing awareness to what you need. By asking yourself “Do I need a social connection or to connect to myself?” you can zero in on what strategies to try and discover what fills your cup!

💛 Your peace awaits.