How to Manage Your Anxiety About Eating in Front of Others
As an emotional eater, chances are there is a part (maybe a big part) of you that dreads eating with others. From family dinners to nights out with friends, to team building events at work, there is just too much opportunity to have our weight and eating habits criticized.
Food shaming is a common minefield when at a gathering that revolves around food. It can start on the inside; our thoughts swirl and we chastise ourselves over what we eat and drink in front of others. As a way to protect ourselves, our mind starts churning out warning thoughts and plans:
“Someone is going to look at me, look at my plate, and tell me that’s why I’m fat.”
“I’m so uncomfortable in my body, everyone is looking at me.”
“I am going to be perfect and only order a salad.”
“Will I fit in the chair at the restaurant?”
Sound familiar? Its likely that whatever thoughts come up from you, they stem from the idea that you will be judged by others at the event. The anticipation building in your mind might become so bad that you think “screw it!” and skip these events all together. But then you begin to feel guilty for not meeting social or work obligations. Or maybe you feel even more lonely about missing out. Plus, by avoiding food-centred events all together, you’re giving the events a sense of power that is going to make the next one even more challenging to go to. Every invite starts to feel overwhelming!
Here are 5 concrete strategies to help you the next time you’re anxious about eating in front of others:
- Pick out an outfit that you feel confident, or at least comfortable, in. This about the type of fabric you like on your skin or what kind of waistband makes you the most comfortable (over here we love a high-waisted jean!).
- Check in with your hunger before you go. There is no need to ‘skimp on calories’ before an event as that will only set you up for a binge at the event.
- Look over the menu or food options available and ask yourself what sounds good to you. By checking in with yourself you can order what is going to bring you the most satisfaction without all the noise from the opinions of others.
- Monitor your thoughts and try to keep them on the people and conversations around you. Chances are if you’re concerned with your own thoughts, they are also distracted by their own inner dialogues!
- Write down a few affirmations either on your phone or on a piece of paper you slip into your wallet. This could be: “Foods are neutral. They do not make me a good or bad person” or “I deserve to nourish my body with delicious food, no matter who is watching.”
If your worst-case scenario happens and someone comments on your weight, we’ve got a few additional tips for you. Our biggest one is that their comment is coming from THEIR place of insecurity and has more to do about them than you.
💛 Your peace awaits.
